Category Archives: Smoko

The Crocodile of Love

There’s a form of ancestor magic which many people call Christianity. Jesus is my ancestor, and that makes God my ancestor too, since he is Jesus’s dear old Dad. I…

The Dentist

This dentist was so vile and repulsive that everyone left his practice reeling, with a sense of having been violated in some unnameable way. You could never put your finger…

Ball-point pens

The thing about having a pen in your hand is this: it is delicious. Ball-point pens feel glorious, even the crappy cheap ones you buy that stick and have to…

You’re Poor

There was once a palace and in that palace lived people who had no idea they lived there. This is because the Queen’s town criers were always telling them they…

Lost cat

Lost – one quite pretty but not very bright cat. He might have wandered into your tenement’s front door or shed and not been able to get out again. This…

Woman Eating Tub of Salad Alone

Oh god, there’s a baby in the house next door and I’m so broody. The baby cries all the time and sometimes I hear its father telling it to shut…

There are Lions

There is nothing the man can do but go up on stage and do it. When he’s doing the lecture his mind floats up out of his tired body and…

The Flood

At first the flood was fun. We had to rescue the horses from the stables beside the creek, and we kept them in the back yard, where they feasted on…

Dismantle the Clocks

When Jim walked out of the office, he tucked his trousers into his socks, leaving his expensive leather shoes under the desk, and dropped his very expensive watch into one…

Skeleton Genius

She only liked chairs. Hard-backed chairs, sofas, ornate antiques, chaise longues, divans, you name it, she had it. She didn’t have a bed, and she had no tables or desks….