Your Trousers, Sir

How dare you, sir, mistake me for a toad, sir. I am a frog, sir, not a toad, sir. Now put me down.

That’s better. Beastly cad.

Don’t walk on, sir. I implore you. Since you’re here, you can do me a favour. I’m a man. Would you mind awfully picking me up again, and kissing me?

No, what you did earlier was to lick me. You thought I was a toad, sir, a creature you could lick willy nilly, sir. For hallucinogenic jollies, sir.

A kiss is a tender puckering of the lips. Yes, it’s different.

Please, pick me up, without squeezing me, and as gently as you can put your lips on my skin.

Oh.

That was lovely.

Your trousers, sir.